the fall

I love fall. The colors speak to me. They reverberate with spent energy and herald the coming darkness of winter. This one coming up feels darker than most.

Burying my head in the sand will not be an option in the coming years.

Though I have always maintained a non-partisan stance in this journal (I am an independent) I feel compelled to speak out now. The election brought sadness for me and many around me. I am worried for my immigrant friends, alarmed at white supremacist rhetoric, concerned about the relaxation of environmental standards and angry at the misogynist drooling. It's a gut punch. Each day brings another announcement of the leadership of thugs.

Thugs, Paula Kovarik

I know that all Trump voters are not bad people. Some of them are family members, some truly believe that drastic change (no matter what the cost) will fix our broken system, some focus on one issue when they vote. The task at hand is what to do next? Do we continue the vitriol or fix what is broken? Do we take sides or bridge the gap?

There are plenty of gaps to bridge. We all know that.

So what I look for in a leader is someone who is smart, open and determined to be fair to all. And as a citizen it will be my responsibility to be vigilant. I will support a free press, speak out at injustice and find ways to further the causes I consider important.  

I will not bury my head. Or lapse into cynicism.

rising, Paula Kovarik

I had a glass of wine with my oatmeal last night

Comfort food and catnip. That's what it has come down to. My head is so fractured with focuses the threads careen forward with untrammeled exuberance. I have eight serious pieces in process and I flit from one to another like a ping pong ball on crack.

Must focus. Must breathe.

I think it was the time away from the studio that did it. Images flicker in my short term memory with such a radiance of immediacy that I am compelled to follow their paths.

Pollinators, detail, Paula Kovarik

Bifurcation. It's a word that floated to the top of my mind the other day. A word that ended up being my vocabulary word-for-the-day. Why? I have no clue. But bifurcate it did. It means "to fork or divide into two branches." So when I look it up on the web the standard rabbit holes show up on Google where scientists and mathematicians start explaining bifurcation theory. The diagrams look suspiciously like my brain on dual focus mode. And I start to study bifurcation diagrams thinking that maybe the answer lies in a mathematical model. STOP.

Lately my bifurcation looks like this:

Can too many ideas lead to fuzzy thinking?