in honor of mom

my mom is sleeping in the next room. She has been sleeping for 4 days and will likely not wake up. She has been in hospice since February defying all odds. Taking this time in my life to care for her and witness this journey has added a quiet layer of depth to my understanding of life. Today I told her again that I loved her and that she was generous in her teachings and loyal and supportive to each of her children. She was loved and is already missed by many.

What strikes me now though is how much she challenged the norm. She worked like no other I know, holding down night jobs and still attending PTA meetings. Organizing neighbors and friends to create a stronger community at the same time as tirelessly sewing new costumes for school plays or halloween (and did I mention she did this while working full time?). She never stopped learning and spoke often of how important that was. She could gut a fish, crochet lace, build a quilt and laugh when we decided to build a fort underground, lending us extra shovels. She found ways to give without needing to be acknowledged. And, though she often disagreed with us, she respected our decisions and knew we had to make our own way without interference.

This mother's day weekend is a special one for me. One that challenges my understanding of what it is to be alive, but also one that is full of love.