I'm letting things go.

Every so often I sell a piece. I don’t actively pursue that side of art making. When it happens I have to figure out how to let it go. I have declined offers in the past. The result is my studio has become a warren of finished and half finished pieces. Sometimes I walk sideways through the aisles. Congestion breeds ideas. I’m never afraid of cutting up one piece to start another. For me it is always about Process over Product.

These two pieces had an important part in defining my practice. The Isolation Chamber started the 3D experiments I am still pursuing. And, I watch too much tv news satisfied my urge to speak out about what is going on in the world. The 14 foot scroll moved through its case in a continuous loop reminding me to pay attention. I’m proud of both. And ready to say goodbye.

I sold one and destroyed the other.

In 2018 I decided to make a series of globes into which people could insert their heads to shut out all distractions and contemplate their inner thoughts. I made two of them. Then COVID hit and I realized that people probably wouldn’t want to stick their heads into something that someone else had tried. It became my personal isolation chamber and I put the project on hold.

And now it is on its way to its new home in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

I watch too much tv news is still a true statement. I feel an obligation to know what is going on. The insanity leaks into my work all the time. The tv news piece focuses on how we get the news, who is creating the news and how it affects the outcomes of the people living through it. The fourteen foot scroll runs in a continuous loop just as our history does. We repeat. And then again, we repeat. My frustration with the way things are falling apart drove me to destroy the tv cabinet in which the scroll was housed. I preserved the history (as I hope all history is recorded) but let go of the infrastructure of it. I think it would be nice to wipe the structures clean and start over again. We are clearly mired in insanity. Here’s a video of the action.

The destruction of I watch too much tv news

The video, the trashed case and the scroll will all be part of the solo show I will have at the Schweinfurth Art Museum October 31 – January 3, 2027. Join me at the opening on Halloween of this year.

Nano-second update

Hello out there. I just noticed that it has been over a month since I last posted anything about my practice. Too much time in the isolation chamber I think. The silence can be like an extra layer of batting between brain cells.

My first Isolation chamber. A quilt that I made back in 2010 is repurposed for this piece.

My first Isolation chamber. A quilt that I made back in 2010 is repurposed for this piece.

It’s about this time of year that I do a little housekeeping and rearranging. And, that’s not happening. In past years, I might take the time to look forward to new challenges. And, that’s not happening either. New Year’s resolutions? More of the same.

I’m reading Annals of the Former World by John McPhee. In it he describes some of the processes of planetary formation and geological deep time. Deep time. Billions and trillions of years. Getting my head around that concept inevitably sparks a sense of inconsequential reality. On a planetary time scale we are but a nanosecond of reality. And how can I even think about the size and scope of NANO seconds? Smaller than a breadbox? My life is a micro micro nanosecond in the annals of time. The fact that I am trying to express how I feel, think and act through my art is ephemeral and inconsequential as it relates to the reality of the big stuff around me. So little in something so big.

Nevertheless, I persist. Because art is life. Life is precious. Time is short.

Below are some of the things I worked on this year. If you click on an image you can read a little about each piece.

I spent a lot of nanoseconds in the studio this year. And for that I am grateful.

We live in challenging times on a miraculous planet.

How did you spend 2020? Tell me your tale!

if at first …

trying trying again …

I had this idea long ago that I could create floating globes that would hang in space and allow viewers to insert their heads into them for a different sensory experience. (See It didn’t work for another go at this idea.) For the past few weeks I have been thinking about meditation and isolation and how important alone time is to me. Sometimes I have to shut it all off and just breathe. What if I could create a globe that would isolate me from that emotional and physical noise?

This second try started with a reworked piece that didn’t work. I had all these scraps that were aching to be put together. But the result was just cacophony not simplicity.

I didn’t want the isolation chamber to be all chaos so I created some new raw materials with canvas and black thread. The black thread story line added more narrative to the piece.

The new black and ivory canvas wedges were too stark so I added stitching to them to complement the triangle wedges.

I lined each panel with lace to obscure the chaos outside with a calmer feeling inside.

I sewed all the wedges together and ended up with a loopy globe.

When I reinforced the top and bottom edges with a pvc pipe insert it hangs fairly evenly.

I’m still working out some details. I embroidered a strip of fabric on the inside that says calm_down_calm_down____calm_down__calm_down. And I am rigging the globe so that it can hang from a hook at head height.

So, now, if the news is making me crazy, or my thoughts are too scattered, I can retreat into my own little isolation chamber. A quiet space.

Do you find that you need a space to escape?

Tell me more!

It didn't work.

I’ve had this idea for years that I could build a quilt in a globe form and make it into an isolation chamber. And boy, are we isolated. My dreams had a room full of these things that people could put their heads into. They might see the inside of the outside idea. The undergrowth of the wild surroundings.

So I studied globes, brushed up on my geometry, ordered some paper globes, cut out patterns, and experimented with stiffening substrates. I sewed the substrates into fabric. Glued stiffeners to the underside of pieces. Experimented with zipper and hook and eye closures. Built stainless steel rings for support. Developed a pattern big enough for a head.

This quilt, Stream of Consciousness, seemed like the perfect candidate for my isolation chamber. The quilt is a series of 4” squares with drawings that I did with a fabric pen in one sitting. I then sandwiched those drawings with colorful fabric and quilted them all together.

scraps_PaulaKovarik.jpg

Here’s what’s left of the quilt after cutting out the orange peel sections.

Then I thought I had it. The patterns worked in muslin. I was ready for prime time. I sliced up the Stream of Consciousness quilt for the body of my first isolation chamber. Sewed it all together, tore it apart, sewed it all together with some interfacing, tore it apart, sewed it all together with some Buckrum, tore it apart and started building cages.

I’m not good with metal. And, by this time, I am getting frustrated. So I set it aside. And used it as a punching bag for a couple of weeks.

Today I realized I have to give it up. Start fresh. Do another one with studied engineering solutions. This one is just too overworked.

The globe hangs in the middle of my studio in its unfinished form. I use it as a punching bag on bad days. It’s quiet inside. Stops the whirring in my brain.

I’ve been adding more stitching with each iteration of assembly. I’m loving this layering of detail.

I do have some pretty strong ideas on what I will do with the next one though.

There were days when I felt deflated. Here’s what happened to the muslin version of the globe. She looks much calmer than I feel.

It’s process not product, it’s process not product, it’s process not product.