On saying yes

May 19, 2021

I say yes to a lot of opportunities and to myself and to my family and to my friends. Trouble with that is I end up with too much on my plate. When I should be snacking I am gorging. When I should be contemplative I am mumbling deadlines and bifurcating my brain. And yet, as the scorpion said to the frog, it’s just my nature. If I had an empty plate I would scrounge around for something, anything, everything to do.

Last week started off with this little project. I was both channeling Leo Ray and Jackson Pollock. It started with a piece of canvas on which I dribbled, sprayed and splotched some fabric paint. The idea was I would discover things within the painting that would inspire me to stitch. I would end up with a continuous series of pieces that would fit together like Leo Ray’s continuous paintings.

I cut the canvas into five square pieces and started to add stitching where they needed stitching. I have been drawing like this for awhile so some of the arbitrary forms that are showing up in my drawings are now showing up in the stitching. I like this technique. It brings mystery into process. It is very loose and intuitive. Jackson Pollock once said “Because a painting has a life of its own, I try to let it live.”

Here’s a close-up of one of the panels. Each panel measures about 19” square. I like adding texture to pieces using thread that matches the fabric. The other drawing lines are inspired by what I see in the base painting. I added a face, some active lines, some textural backgrounds and some mysterious figurative drawings that came out of a day dream in this one.

Now I am experimenting with the square panels to create 3D shapes. Some look like scrolls, some like the Venus of Willendorf and others like disturbing faces. Not sure where they will end up. For now they are keeping me entertained.

Raw and Reassembled

The wonderful folks at the Visions Art Museum in San Diego have invited me to exhibit July 17 – October 3, 2021. I have been planning, assembling, writing statements, labeling and packing for that show for the past month. There is a lot to do before then. If you are in the San Diego area during that time please take moment or two to see the show. I would love to hear what you think about it.

A book:
At Play in the Garden of Stitch: thoughts that come while eyeing the needle

I’m on the final proofreading stage of a book about my techniques. As soon as it is ready I will post a link here for purchase. It has been a long and arduous journey to get this far with it. And I am proud of the result. I hope you have the opportunity to see it someday soon. Some of you may recognize your own stitching on the cover. They are samples from my workshops.

Spring

The weather is perfect right now and it is sometimes hard to stay in the studio because it is so beautiful outside. I am jealous of every hour away from the studio but, then again, the garden brings me joy and time to think. I’ll say yes to it too.

tell me how you say yes

Taking stock

October 21, 2019

I spent today stitching a new piece that has yet to be revealed here. It tracks with other pieces that focus on one line traveling across a surface of mystery. The work satisfies my need to be present and not distracted. It allows me to be playful and calm. It tracks my mood and challenges my sense of balance. Here’s a detail:

And, while I have been stitching, I have been thinking about other pieces I have finished in the past year. They range from narrative to expressive, 2-dimensional to 3-dimensional, abstract to figurative. I have cut up pieces and stitched them back together. In some pieces I have scurried over random textures in a frenzy of stitch. In other pieces I have calmly and sedately thought about balance and composition with an analytical focus.

Overseer, 45” x 54”, Paula Kovarik. Repurposed quilt pieces over-stitched and re-assembled. — *Overseer*, 45” x 54”, Paula Kovarik. Repurposed quilt pieces over-stitched and re-assembled.

You Don’t Know Me, work in progress, 3-dimensional assemblage, Paula Kovarik — *You Don’t Know Me*, work in progress, 3-dimensional assemblage, Paula Kovarik

In 2021, I will have a solo show that will hang at the Visions Art Museum in San Diego, California. I think the pieces I include should have a common thread —an integrated collection that speaks to my current work as an artist.

The question I keep asking myself is: “which self?”

Pieced and Pieces

September 18, 2019

Two sides, same person. I often work on more than one piece at a time. This month I have been working on two pieces. One is contained and precisely pieced, the other looks like Dr. Frankenstein took out his needle during a side show.

She didn’t have the password started as an abstract composition of black and white fabrics laying about the studio. I always have black and white “units” to play with. They are off-cuts of other work or random shapes put together when I can’t figure out what I want to work on. In fact, I have a whole drawer full of them that I vaguely think about putting together in one huge piece but I never get around to actually doing it. So a piece like this takes the place of that grand plan.

Here’s a detail of the piecing and stitching. Each unit of black and white pieced fabrics is put together to form a landscape that can tell a story. This story has to do with feeling like you aren’t part of the cool kids. Like you don’t know the secret word and everyone else does.

Working on this piece is analytical, planned, light-hearted and precise. I wait for the work to tell me what it needs. It’s a quiet dialog that builds with each detail.

She didn’t have the password - detail, 2019, Paula Kovarik

The original title for this piece was “It looked like fun in there but she didn’t have the password.” The piece measures about 35” x 29”

Dark Heart is an assemblage of cut up quilts. Using traditional quilt patterns, in this case an eight-pointed star, I cut up quilts that are already stitched and reassemble them with Frankenstein-like sutures. I wanted to make fractured crowns, but then it morphed into this bird-like creature overseeing chaos.

Here are some detail shots of the stitching.

Dark Heart, work in progress, detail, Paula Kovarik — *Dark Heart,* work in progress, detail, Paula Kovarik

Working on this piece is emotional, unplanned, dark and messy. I wait for the work to tell me what it needs. it’s a greedy piece clamoring for more each time I look at it.

Dark Heart, work in progress. Approximately 54” x 46”, Paula Kovarik

So, yes, sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes I don’t. Two sides, same person.

Better Not Said

August 27, 2019

I’ve been thinking about what we don’t say.

When asked how we are doing we say “fine.” Not “I’m anxious as hell and I don’t want to take it anymore.“ When we are in a group of strangers it’s difficult to talk about abortion, racism, immigration or politics because it might step on some peoples beliefs. We send out little hints in polite company, feeling out which side of the great divides they are on before revealing our position. We use code words to express our dislike. In the South it is “bless her heart” for someone who is hopelessly wrong or clueless.

So I started thinking about how a language that doesn’t say anything would look. Kind of a secret language we keep to ourselves as we navigate these non-conversations. It’s a language only we understand. You know how it sounds right? It’s that voice inside that calls out your truth but in a whispering tone that only you can hear.

These hieroglyphic shapes could mean anything to the passing stranger. Or nothing.

And then I started thinking about what holding back does to our consciousness. How does NOT saying something affect what I believe to be true? How does NOT saying something create a tacit understanding among community members of where I stand? How does NOT saying something affect my inner peace? Does saying my truth out loud create barriers or bridges?

I’m all over the place with this. It’s hard to even write what I mean here.

Does polite conversation have a place in the dialog of change? Certainly ambassadors must use it when they are negotiating deals with despots. They seed their conversations with objectives while avoiding hot spots. Our president seems to think that name calling and dramatics will result in him getting his way. But will it? Or does the abandonment of polite conversation give us chaos instead?

Keeping my truth to myself results in little reservoirs of doubt and anxiety.

So here is Better Not Said. A study of inner thoughts and outer NON dialog.

Better Not Said, 41” x 26.5”, linen, cotton, thread and batting. Paula Kovarik — *Better Not Said*, 41” x 26.5”, linen, cotton, thread and batting. Paula Kovarik

In the Weeds

January 17, 2019

It’s about the process. I’ve said it before and I say it to myself every day. But it’s more than that. It’s about connection, meditation, intuition and evolution. The work I do is no longer precious, no longer final, no longer static. It lives on, breathes inconsistency and opens new insights. This process keeps me thinking. This process brings pieces together. Here’s a brief summary about the process for a new piece, In the Weeds.

I started with this piecing composition. My thoughts were about sentinels — beings tuned into signals that may not be heard.

In+the+Weeds%2C+original+stitching%2C+Paula+Kovarik

I did a lot of stitching on this piece, both by machine and by hand. There was an inkling of dissatisfaction during that time. But my motto tends to be “more is more” right? You can see the warping that is happening to the piece as I add more texture. Not a good sign most of the time.

I let it hang on the studio wall for about 4 weeks. Then I put it into the divide and conquer bin. This piece would not see the light of day until I could resolve its main problems — frivolity without reality, composition inadequacies, warpage meant for the sea not the wall.

Then one day I had an itch to destroy, erase, and engage.

Preparing for action. In the Weeds - Before

I ended up with 96 4” x 4” squares. And it felt really good.

Reassembly took a few days. This was one of the solutions I had. Still not there. I attach the blocks to a substrate. This time I used drapery blackout fabric. It stitches very well and maintains its shape.

Of course, I am not shy about adding details. And, I added a few pieces from other quilts that were in the divide and conquer bin.

It was about this time that I knew the title of the piece, In the Weeds. According to the Cambridge dictionary: Concerned with so many problems or so much work that you are finding it difficult to deal with something; or concerned with small details, often when this prevents you from understanding what is important.

I’ve been in the weeds about a few things lately. Understanding what is happening in our governmental bodies, concern about the environment, moving into the third period of life. The catharsis of stitching helps quell the storm.