Pathways and choices

December 16, 2016

If you search for the phrase "You're probably not as busy as you say you are" you'll get a number of articles about the psychological weight of feeling overwhelmed and the nature of choice. Today's electronic environment is a rabbithole of interference and distraction. It also inspires.

From Maria Popova's Brain Pickings journal: The stories that we tell ourselves, whether they be false or true, are always real. We act out of those stories, reacting to their realness. William James knew this when he observed: “My experience is what I agree to attend to. Only those items which I notice shape my mind.”

I choose to go down rabbitholes. I choose to allow mystery to guide me. I choose pathways that don't make sense in an effort to abolish the literal.

Stitch pathways mimic the complexity of confusion. Paula Kovarik, 2016

Adding spotlights to the cacophony sorts out simple scenes.

Stream-of-consciousness stitching reveals anxious wanderings. Pathways, Paula Kovarik, 2016

Morning sun gives me some ideas for extra detail bubbling up.

the fall

December 5, 2016

I love fall. The colors speak to me. They reverberate with spent energy and herald the coming darkness of winter. This one coming up feels darker than most.

Burying my head in the sand will not be an option in the coming years.

Though I have always maintained a non-partisan stance in this journal (I am an independent) I feel compelled to speak out now. The election brought sadness for me and many around me. I am worried for my immigrant friends, alarmed at white supremacist rhetoric, concerned about the relaxation of environmental standards and angry at the misogynist drooling. It's a gut punch. Each day brings another announcement of the leadership of thugs.

I know that all Trump voters are not bad people. Some of them are family members, some truly believe that drastic change (no matter what the cost) will fix our broken system, some focus on one issue when they vote. The task at hand is what to do next? Do we continue the vitriol or fix what is broken? Do we take sides or bridge the gap?

There are plenty of gaps to bridge. We all know that.

So what I look for in a leader is someone who is smart, open and determined to be fair to all. And as a citizen it will be my responsibility to be vigilant. I will support a free press, speak out at injustice and find ways to further the causes I consider important.

I will not bury my head. Or lapse into cynicism.

gratefulness on edge

November 21, 2016

I really wanted a cigarette last week. It's been 13 years since I quit smoking and that does not stop the urge. I really wanted a cigarette last week. On Wednesday I woke up in a cold sweat believing I had started smoking again (because that inevitably means that I would have to quit again). Tension is as tension does.

So my stitching is frenetic. Punching the needle into the cloth with a frenzy that borders on manic.

Health questions in the family generated this invasive species.

Cypress trees on a stress-reducing walk reminded me of the new leaders walking into office — dark and foreboding figures.

An automatic stitching exercise reveals how my head is untethered and askew. Paula Kovarik, 2016

I am focusing on both detail and fuzziness. Big ideas are too big, details mimic the tension.

The fuzzy thinking, edgy tension and churning stomach will end sometime. For now, I will continue stitching, allowing the stitch to tell my story.

Breathe in, breathe out. I am grateful for that.

And I won't light up a cigarette.

The automatic stitching cloth grows larger every day. Paula Kovarik, 2016

chaos ensues

November 1, 2016

Last week my computer stopped working. It wasn't a firestorm or an earthquake but it did create chaos. Applications, extensions, preferences, archives, backups, bookmarks, 14,566 photos, three years of archived email messages, screensavers and personal sense of peace and harmony disappeared with a simple click of the mouse.

I called my local wizard, Brian, who hand held me through the re-installation and restoration process. We worked together for 4 days navigating the waters of passwords, help desks, chat rooms and operating systems. Trust me, you don't want to go there. But, if you do have to go there, call Brian. He was a model of patience.

And, now that I am up and running again, I'll show you what resulted while waiting for that spiraling beach ball on the computer to stop turning and turning and turning.

This piece starts with a pile of scraps.

After about 3 weeks of piecing I am entranced by the back of the composition. It reflects a behind-the-scenes idea of the structures that hold us all together.

Here's the final composition from the back.

So I baste it to the backing wrong side up. On purpose.

Here's the neat and tidy back of the quilt sandwich ready for stitching. I did the free-motion quilting from this side. The piece is about 6 foot square and it was totally uncooperative. I ended each day with neck pain and back strain. It proved its… — Here's the neat and tidy back of the quilt sandwich ready for stitching. I did the free-motion quilting from this side. The piece is about 6 foot square and it was totally uncooperative. I ended each day with neck pain and back strain. It proved itself to be too big, too persnickety, too much. The open seams on the back of the piece (which would eventually be the front) caught in the feed dogs, rumpled unevenly and refused to cooperate. Turning it over and stitching from the front didn't work either. I started to call it the hateful quilt.

So I cut the whole in half, threw both halves into a hot washing machine and dryer to see what would happen and hung the ragged results on the design wall until I could face it again. hmmm.....kind of liking that squinched up raggedness.......

This past week, while watching and waiting for the computer gods to grant me asylum I started stitching and stitching and stitching. The stitching reflects my mood. confused, constipated, constrained and scattered.

Here's where I am with it today. I like the raggedness. I like the urgent sense of chaos. I like the release.

That second half waits for its own solution.

Quilts=Art=Quilts opens on Saturday

October 24, 2016

Two for the price of one! The opening reception of Quilts=Art=Quilts and American Quilts: History and Art is on Saturday this week at the Schweinfurth Art Center in Auburn, NY. My piece, Incoming, will be showing in Q=A=Q along with works by 51 artists from across the world. The American Quilts: History and Art exhibit features historical quilts from the collection of the International Quilt Studies Center & Museum in Nebraska.

If you are in the Auburn area it is a great opportunity to see some of the best contemporary quilt art being done today.

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