back to the beginning

Paula Kovarik, 2012.

OK, I admit I have found numerous excuses not to get back into the swing of working at days end. Too tired, too frazzled, too cold to return to the studio. Preparing for the Exploration show, going out of town, watching election results, crocheting Christmas presents, paying bills. Doing research, etc. etc. etc.

Is it that I am blocked? (maybe) Overwhelmed by the options? (yes, definitely) Intimidated by my expectations? (definitely) Am I being affected by the time change? weather change? mood change? (Yes. Yes. Yes.)

So today I browsed through some older progress shots to restart the engines. This simple black and white composition intrigues me. I may have to take a side street to experiment further with this meadering.

patterns patterns everywhere

Sitting here watching the election returns with the pundits trying to divine the exit poll results, I can't help but think that they are all chasing their tails. It reminds me of this pattern I saw in some street tiles in Costa Rica. Not easily discerned, the markings meander, disconnect and lock up with no apparent pattern yielding a confusing randomness. Buried within this hieroglyphic meandering is a common quilt patch called drunkards path. An apt description for these election pundits. Oh please, please, please make it come to an end soon. Let's get on to the business of fixing this government, economy and future.

a simple sense of relief

The show at the Buckman gallery was mostly a blur to me. That big dose of adrenaline required to rev up my social skills dissipated as soon as the show began and I realized that most people there were just regular folks with an interest in my work. And, it turns out, they were really interested. Many asked for back stories on the concepts, process and thoughts behind the pieces. Not one compared the work to those treasured grandma quilts on their beds or in their hope chests. The larger pieces actually attracted some small audiences to listen to what I was saying.

Nor sure what I said really. Felt like one big babble. But I came out of it intact emotionally and buoyed by the positive support that was surrounding me. I didn't trip, drool or burp inappropriately. For now I am glad it is over. I'm glad that I made the effort. And I'm glad we didn't run out of carrot sticks.

Whew! Now I can go back to work.

me nervous?

Nightmares of showing up late? Yes. Doubts about the work? you bet. Thinking of calling in sick? hmmm....that might be the answer.

The show opening is tonight. All my work on public walls.

This is part of it right?

two more days

do the doodle, detail, Paula Kovarik

Two more days before the opening of my show at the Buckman Gallery here in Memphis. Reading tne news today about galleries in the East Village flooding made me nervous to think of all this work in a different space without my watchful eye on it.

Let's face it, I am nervous about everything these days...is the work good enough? will I make inane comments at the opening (yes)? Will people just look at it and say i..n..t...e..r..e..s..t..i..n..g..and drift off to the nearest exit? Will I trip and spill white wine all over someone?

Why do I feel compelled to show the work? If I could be behind the scenes watching it on webcam I would feel much more comfortable.